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But I Need a Kick-In-The-Butt


Maybe you do need a kick-in-the-butt – I suppose we all need a swift kick once in a while but I guarantee you that a steady diet of kicks in the ass will not work!  

There are two primary forms of motivation we all deal with which are 1) pain / consequences and 2) pleasure / rewards. Which is more powerful? Well that depends. Pain or consequences can be very compelling in getting us to start or stop something and I definitely utilize this tool personally and in my coaching but SPARINGLY!

Here’s the thing, pain works in short doses at the right time. If you are on the edge of doing something you want or need to and you are capable (whether you know it or not), then a swift dose of immediate consequence can be perfect to get yourself moving. However, if you use this tactic consistently it loses its power and it will take more and more pain to get you into action. That’s a very unfulfilling and unhappy game to play in life. And unfortunately, if you consistently use negative consequences as a motivator then at some point it will eventually backfire causing you to become disempowered or hopeless.

Here's the interesting correlation between the need for a kick-in-the-butt and STRENGTHS. Often times the reason we are needing that pain motivator is because we are facing an activity that requires one of our weaknesses or as a prefer to call them…non-strengths to accomplish it. 

“If we try to pave our way to success via our non-strengths, then we’ll need to create lots of ‘pain/consequences’ to get ourselves to take action or to stay consistent through time. Simply put, this is an ineffective strategy for creating long-term success and fulfillment. ”

The key to consistently moving forward in your life and career it to continue to move toward what lights you up, wakes you up, utilizes and helps grow your natural talents and strengths.

Even the old adage about mother birds pushing their babies out of the nest is a myth. For example, Ornithologists have observed eagles coaxing the young from the nest, rather than just giving them a shove. When the fledgling eagle is almost ready to fly, parents have been observed to swoop by the nest with a fresh kill. Instead of landing in the nest as usual to share the meal, the parent lands near the nest and eats in plain view of its squawking, hungry teenager. This behavior continues until the fledgling decides to venture out of the nest, at which point the parent will share its food. REWARD! Their nature is to fly – they just needs coaxing and to strengthen their wings! 

The more you orient your life and career to naturally play to and encourage the continuing growth of your natural talents and strengths, the fewer butt kicks you’ll need - hallelujah!

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