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July 17,
2006
What Do You
Really Want?
It’s a
simple question, right? Maybe or maybe not. In my work as
a Decision Coach, I often find that the problems people are
having in making decisions are not in the decision itself,
but in clarifying what they really want. They think it’s
about the decision between leaving or staying with a
significant other. They think it’s about leaving one career
for another. They think it’s about firing an employee or
trying to fix the problem. They think it’s about which diet
to begin. They think it's about which car, house, or even
cell phone to buy.
But the
confusion, the doubt, the looping is rarely about the
decision at hand. The core problem is almost always that
they haven’t genuinely clarified or committed to their
higher wants, needs, and desires. They are not clear about
what’s really important to them. Or maybe they know
unconsciously what those deeper needs and desires are but
they haven’t brought them to the surface and committed to
them on a conscious level. Often this happens because the
pressing, current fears or desires are overriding what’s
truly most important. How can you make a good decision when
you aren't even clear about what you really want, what you
really don't want, and why?
In my
coaching, I help people dig deeper and reconnect with what
they value most, with what will help them feel most
fulfilled. Many times the reason someone is confused,
doubting, or looping it’s because their deep unconscious
drivers are in conflict with their current, more surface
desires or fears. But something has to take priority or
the struggle will be endless. When you are making a
decision, are you able to move through the mental and
emotional struggle in order to allow what’s truly most
important to pull you through?
When you
let the mental chatter and emotional turmoil ease, you’ll be
able to reconnect with your deeper and truer needs, desires,
and wants. As you allow these to rise to the surface and to
take priority, you’ll find it much easier to make the
right decision for yourself. Becoming clear works whether
you are trying to make a deeply emotional decision or you
are simply trying to decide which car to buy.
Always
remember - clarity is power!
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