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June 10,
2006
Decide,
Commit, Resolve
I’ve
recently come from leading two 4-day Unleash the Power
Within seminars for Tony Robbins’ company. (By the way, I
highly recommend the seminar.) One of the sections of the
program deals with decision. I love the way Tony breaks it
down into three parts – decision, commitment, and resolve.
The hardest thing for many people is simply the process of
making the decision. Depending on the importance of the
decision, on the fear you face of the potential consequences
of your decision, or a thousand other reasons, making a
decision can be long and painful – but it doesn’t need to
be. One key is to get clear on what’s most important to you
in your life, relationships, finances, health, and
business.
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It's not hard to
make decisions when you know what your values
are. ~Roy Disney |
When you are clear on what’s most
important to you, you can then use that clarity as a
filter through which to evaluate and decide on anything.
Decide, commit, and resolve to your big picture values,
dreams, and goals and you’ll find it much easier to make the
life decisions that we all face with each day.
Depending
on the decision that you want or need to make, you’ll need
information and you’ll want to weigh the pros and cons.
That’s the logical part of any good decision-making process
but ultimately, you have to go with your intuition, guidance
from God, heart – whatever way you describe that deeper
place in all of us that is below the changeable emotions and
the mental process. Some of us are more or less practiced
at this or have easier access to this critical part of
ourselves but we all have this ability!
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When making a
decision of minor importance, I have always
found it advantageous to consider all the pros
and cons. In vital matters, however, such as the
choice of a mate or a profession, the decision
should come from the unconscious, from somewhere
within ourselves. In the important decisions of
personal life, we should be governed, I think,
by the deep inner needs of our nature. ~Sigmund
Freud |
Making a
decision takes time (how much is debatable) but each person
needs to take the right amount of time for them – but not
more. When you spend too long with the internal debate,
there is a point of diminished return. Then it just starts
to get ridiculous. That’s where I was at a critical turning
point in my life. I had debated the issues, talked to
everyone in the world who would listen to my dilemma, listed
the pros and cons in my mind until I thought I would go
crazy. Finally out of complete desperation, I created my
“Rocking Chair Test”. (You can read about it in my book,
I Almost
Missed My Life, Don’t Miss Yours!) The bottom-line
is that there comes a point when you just need to decide.
What’s
a decision you know you need to make but have been putting
off?
The
decision itself is often the hardest part but the commitment
is where the power to follow-through lies. A decision,
without a strong commitment backing it up, is weak and
subject to change at a minute’s notice. Have you ever
decided to exercise and not lasted more than a week or maybe
only a day? Why? It’s simple; you didn’t have a sufficient
level of commitment to follow-through. You’ve got to have
enough juice behind the decision to help you over, through,
under, and beyond any and all obstacles – even if that
obstacle is you.
The last
one, resolve is especially interesting to me. I like
the idea of it; I like the way resolve feels in my mind,
heart, and body and I like the results I get when I am
resolved. So what’s the difference between commitment
and resolve?
The
difference is subtle but colossal. Commitment often has a
kind of force to it, almost as if a person needs to stay
very focused and on top of their goal in order to insure
follow-through. They can see the goal and they are
committed to reaching it but they may need to push to stay
with it. Resolve is more like a deep sense of
knowing that something will happen. It’s as if, in your
mind it has already happened. There is a relaxed
certainty. Resolve is powerful beyond measure.
There’s no more struggle or push; it’s done; it will happen
– one way or another.
Sometimes
people ask me what I do as a coach. I’ve tried many times
to explain it but I’ve only recently realized that my real
passion and gift is helping people decide, commit, and
resolve. I help people make wise decisions (wise for them)
that are thoughtful - decisions that will help them get to
their true goals and dreams. If they don’t know what their
bigger picture values, dreams, and goals are, we often begin
with defining those. I support my clients in finding their
true “whys” which bolster their level of commitment to help
them follow-through. Then, and most importantly, I help
them dig deeper and feel the certainty that comes with
resolve.
If they
want, from there we work on a specific plan of action and I
support them as they work through the real-life obstacles
that inevitably surface at one point or another. That’s the
"how" part but the real value I bring is in helping my
clients decide, commit, and resolve. I know once they do
that, they’ll find a way – with or without my help.
Is there
something you know you need to make a decision about but you
just haven’t been able to do it? If so, call me. At one
time or another, everyone needs someone who is objective but
also someone who genuinely cares, someone with experience
and wisdom, someone who is patient but also won’t let them
off the hook. I’m just a phone call away.
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